Deffinitely a not crap joke...

[MacV2]

David Cameron walks into a sperm donor bank in London...


"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.


"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "Have you donated before?"


"Yes" replies Cameron "You should have my details on your computer"


"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "But I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"


"Why do I need help?" asks Cameron.


The receptionist replies "Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wonker...."

[VTRDark]

(:-})

[lloydie]

[AMCQ46]

Sad thing is (well other than it being true ) is that they all are, so what hope have we got

[VTRDark]

Sad thing is (well other than it being true ) is that they all are, so what hope have we got

So very true. We might as well let Mac become PM.

(:-})

[tony.mon]

Sad thing is (well other than it being true ) is that they all are, so what hope have we got

So very true. We might as well let Mac become PM.

(:-})

But then Mac would de facto become useless at fiddler, and that, I understand, is the one thing on his cv that elevates him above the crowd.....as his physio has instructed him in wrist-loosening exercises.....

"Now then, Mac, you'll never be able to wring its neck if you can't choke the chicken......next week, spanking the monkey"

[MacV2]

Sad thing is (well other than it being true ) is that they all are, so what hope have we got

So very true. We might as well let Mac become PM.

(:-})

But then Mac would de facto become useless at fiddler, and that, I understand, is the one thing on his cv that elevates him above the crowd.....as his physio has instructed him in wrist-loosening exercises.....

"Now then, Mac, you'll never be able to wring its neck if you can't choke the chicken......next week, spanking the monkey"

Well this warrants a reply I think...

There's nout wrong with a good Tom Tank IMO...

Now here's my mainifesto...

Jimi Hendrix should be made compulsory listening for all 5-19 year olds with additional Led Zeppelin/The Doors/The Stranglers (Hugh Years Only )/The THE/ That Petrol Emotion spaced out on alternate days.

Blue motorbikes may only be ridden on the roads during hours of Darkness.

The monarchy should have to pay their own way. That Includes buying their own house, if they want to stay living in Buck house ect. buy it with your own money not at the Tax payers expense. Get real jobs & earn a living. Or to put it another way they will be banished. All ''royal'' assets to be sold off to the highest bidder with all proceeds going to the infrastructure of the UK, roads, NHS ect...

Insurance industry revamped into non profit organisation.

Road tax to be scrapped.

Tax on petrol to be reduced with just a 1p per litre Tax to replace Road tax.

MOT's for Cars & LGV's to become Six monthly.

All cars to be fitted with Phone blocking to prevent any mobile device being used whist vehicle is in motion.

All forms of driving licence should be retested every 5 years, re tests to be low cost but if failed, instant ban & you would have to pay full price for new tests inc theory before driving again.

All HGV & PCV vehicles to use left hand lane only on any two & above lane road & limited to 50 mph.

Wearing socks with sandles is punishable with a max of 5 years hard labour...As is riding a blue bike during daylight hours.

National Service to be reintroduced.

Death penalty to be reintroduced.

X-factor/strictly/big brother/ soaps & all crap TV in general to be banned with immediate effect.

I'm sure I could dream up some more but that will do for now...

I have to start to think about my Ministerial appointments...

VOTE NOW !

Viva El Presidente

[Virt]

Now here's my mainifesto...

Jimi Hendrix should be made compulsory listening for all 5-19 year olds with additional Led Zeppelin/The Doors/The Stranglers (Hugh Years Only )/The THE/ That Petrol Emotion spaced out on alternate days.

Blue motorbikes may only be ridden on the roads during hours of Darkness.

The monarchy should have to pay their own way. That Includes buying their own house, if they want to stay living in Buck house ect. buy it with your own money not at the Tax payers expense. Get real jobs & earn a living. Or to put it another way they will be banished. All ''royal'' assets to be sold off to the highest bidder with all proceeds going to the infrastructure of the UK, roads, NHS ect...

Insurance industry revamped into non profit organisation.

Road tax to be scrapped.

Tax on petrol to be reduced with just a 1p per litre Tax to replace Road tax.

MOT's for Cars & LGV's to become Six monthly.

All cars to be fitted with Phone blocking to prevent any mobile device being used whist vehicle is in motion.

All forms of driving licence should be retested every 5 years, re tests to be low cost but if failed, instant ban & you would have to pay full price for new tests inc theory before driving again.

All HGV & PCV vehicles to use left hand lane only on any two & above lane road & limited to 50 mph.

Wearing socks with sandles is punishable with a max of 5 years hard labour...As is riding a blue bike during daylight hours.

National Service to be reintroduced.

Death penalty to be reintroduced.

X-factor/strictly/big brother/ soaps & all crap TV in general to be banned with immediate effect.

YES! But what about AC/DC, Def Leppard, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden etc. ??
Yes!
Yes, Yes, Yes!
Definitely!
Yes.
Disagree, being a passenger in a vehicle with people you dislike/don't fully know sucks.
5 years is too often.
YES!
Don't ruin our heritage, socks and sandals is in our blood.
Disagree with National Service completely. We need to get the country in a state worth defending first (for those who don't know I applied to the Navy, got medically rejected on several counts and come from a fairly military-esque family. Spent all my childhood on/near military bases etc.). I wouldn't lay down my life, or end another, for it in its current state. Maybe delay that one a few years.
Yes, but only for the sickest crimes like murder and the such.
YES!

I'd possibly vote for you, you're still one step underneath the Monster Raving Loony Party though

[tony.mon]

National Service?

My bikes runs better after it's been serviced, so why shouldn't the nation?

I'd vote for you, you can't be any worse than the usual suspects

[MacV2]

Now here's my mainifesto...

Jimi Hendrix should be made compulsory listening for all 5-19 year olds with additional Led Zeppelin/The Doors/The Stranglers (Hugh Years Only )/The THE/ That Petrol Emotion spaced out on alternate days.

Blue motorbikes may only be ridden on the roads during hours of Darkness.

The monarchy should have to pay their own way. That Includes buying their own house, if they want to stay living in Buck house ect. buy it with your own money not at the Tax payers expense. Get real jobs & earn a living. Or to put it another way they will be banished. All ''royal'' assets to be sold off to the highest bidder with all proceeds going to the infrastructure of the UK, roads, NHS ect...

Insurance industry revamped into non profit organisation.

Road tax to be scrapped.

Tax on petrol to be reduced with just a 1p per litre Tax to replace Road tax.

MOT's for Cars & LGV's to become Six monthly.

All cars to be fitted with Phone blocking to prevent any mobile device being used whist vehicle is in motion.

All forms of driving licence should be retested every 5 years, re tests to be low cost but if failed, instant ban & you would have to pay full price for new tests inc theory before driving again.

All HGV & PCV vehicles to use left hand lane only on any two & above lane road & limited to 50 mph.

Wearing socks with sandles is punishable with a max of 5 years hard labour...As is riding a blue bike during daylight hours.

National Service to be reintroduced.

Death penalty to be reintroduced.

X-factor/strictly/big brother/ soaps & all crap TV in general to be banned with immediate effect.

YES! But what about AC/DC, Def Leppard, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden etc. ?? Black Sabbath I'll add, AC/DC sorry but Angus Young isn't fit to lick the soles of Jimi's boots... Def & Iron...pop bands cashing in on NWBHM crazy in the 80's
Yes!
Yes, Yes, Yes!
Definitely!
Yes.
Disagree, being a passenger in a vehicle with people you dislike/don't fully know sucks. No idea what that is a reference to or what relevance it has.
5 years is too often. No it isn't ! I would also make it that once you get a bus pass you lose your licence & on bikes 33bhp till you 20 & then only allowed up to 500cc till 25. Oh I would bring back 2 strokes & 250's & make them compulsory.
YES!
Don't ruin our heritage, socks and sandals is in our blood. So is the knotted handkerchief but you wouldn't see me with one of those either.
Disagree with National Service completely. We need to get the country in a state worth defending first (for those who don't know I applied to the Navy, got medically rejected on several counts and come from a fairly military-esque family. Spent all my childhood on/near military bases etc.). I wouldn't lay down my life, or end another, for it in its current state. Maybe delay that one a few years. Not worth defending ? I'll wait until I'm in power before bringing in stringent immigration laws, once I've sacked the EU.
Yes, but only for the sickest crimes like murder and the such. Murder,Death by dangerous driving,Peadofiles,Stick on helmet adornments.
YES!

I'd possibly vote for you, you're still one step underneath the Monster Raving Loony Party though

You will vote for me I'm making it law.

[turbo_billy]

There's nout wrong with a good Tom Tank IMO...

As the old saying goes, there`s only two kinds of people in this world, w*nkers and liars........which one are you?

[MacV2]

There's nout wrong with a good Tom Tank IMO...

As the old saying goes, there`s only two kinds of people in this world, w*nkers and liars........which one are you?

Well not a liar if that quote is anything to go by...

What about you Turbo ?

BTW mines 3ft long...

[turbo_billy]

There's nout wrong with a good Tom Tank IMO...

As the old saying goes, there`s only two kinds of people in this world, w*nkers and liars........which one are you?

Well not a liar if that quote is anything to go by...

What about you Turbo ?

BTW mines 3ft long...

I hold it for a piss with 5 fingers,,,,,,,(mind you, three of them get wet........ )

[VTRDark]

I hold it for a piss with 5 fingers,,,,,,,(mind you, three of them get wet........ )

PMSL

Mac you get my Vote it all sounds very good so far and what an Improvemnet to the country already. Can I have a job in one of the departments. Havant quite decided which one yet. MAybe the foreign off ice or minister of defence. Oh and can we do something about customs.

(:-})

[lumpyv]

meine kampf grain style

let mac have a go I say, he cant fcuk it up more than the current contenders.