An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes wind
and says, "One nil."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football."
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says "Goal. one each." After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha.
score 2 - 1"
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Get out my son, 2
each"
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Penalty.
goal 3 -2." Now the pressure is on the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat
is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally
shits in the bed.
The wife says, "What the hell was that?"
The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."