childrens jokes please.

Got any jokes? Add your favourite ones here, for all to share :)
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RAINMAKER
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Joined: Sat Sep 27, 2003 12:52 am
Location: HULL, EAST YORKSHIRE

childrens jokes please.

Post by RAINMAKER »

my kids are 4 and 5 year old boys, really need jokes they understand, any one know any ?
it may be clever, but its not big.
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Gavin
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Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 8:20 pm
Location: Beverley, East Yorks

Post by Gavin »

What do you call a man with jelly in one ear and custard in the other???


A trifle deaf. :lol: :lol:

They don't get any better
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Stormin Ben
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Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2002 12:23 am
Location: Birmingham

Post by Stormin Ben »

Knock knock
Who's there?
I need ap
I need ap who?
Do you?
hahahahaha


What do you call a man with 50 seagulls on his head?
Cliff

What do you call a man with 50 rabbits up is elbow?
Warren


Had enough yet? :lol:

Ben
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iggy1966
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Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2003 9:05 am
Location: Hull (Cottingham)

Post by iggy1966 »

I think I've found my true calling in Life :?


Q: Why do bears have fur coats?
A: Because they'd look stupid in anoraks!

Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the Pooh!
Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!

Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!

Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil ?till I get there

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday?

Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!

Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?!
Stick your foot out and trip it up!

A Halloween joke
Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?
It was for "tick or tweet"!

Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.
So what's so great about that?
It's snowing outside!

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!

Where did all the cuts and blood come from?
The school went on a trip!

What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The food!
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
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RAINMAKER
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Location: HULL, EAST YORKSHIRE

Post by RAINMAKER »

cheers guy ( and Kaz ) did'nt get Stormin Bens Knock knock joke about the poo until half an hour later then burst out laughing uncontrollably...........right in the middle of a Meeting........ :oops:
it may be clever, but its not big.
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cupasoop
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Location: Ayrshire, Scotland

Post by cupasoop »

What do you call a guy with a cow on his head?
Pat

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no eye deer.
Rich.

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Stormin Ben
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Location: Birmingham

Post by Stormin Ben »

cupasoop wrote:What do you call a guy with a cow on his head?
Pat

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no eye deer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no willy?
Still no wombles eye deer (maybe not one for the kids!! :lol:

Ben
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sirch345
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Location: The West Country.

Post by sirch345 »

A young boy had gone into his mothers purse and had swollowed some of the money, his mum quickly rushed him to hospital where a doctor examined him, about an hour later his mum asked the doctor what was the suitation, the doctor replied NO CHANGE :D :D
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VTRgirl
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Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 3:22 pm
Location: Sunny Queensland, Great Southern Land

Post by VTRgirl »

yet another instalment on the no eye deer jokes...

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs & nothing below the neck?
A hat rack.
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vtr vicki
Posts: 135
Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2005 12:44 am
Location: Atherton, Gr Manchester

Post by vtr vicki »

what do you call a spider with no legs
A currant :lol:

what do you call a fly with no wings.
A walk.

Put a spider on a table call his name and he will come to you,
pull all his legs off put him back on the table call him and he will not come.
What does this prove :?:
When you pull a spiders legs off he goes deaf.
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yellafella
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Location: Middlesbrough

Post by yellafella »

The other half made me a sandwich today> Took one bite and spat it out it was so awful !
Asked her what it was, ' crab paste ' she replied.
' Where did you get it ? ' i asked,
'The pharmacy ' she replied !!!! :evil:
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vtr vicki
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Location: Atherton, Gr Manchester

Post by vtr vicki »

My 12 year old had to explain it to me :D
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sirch345
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Post by sirch345 »

vtr vicki wrote
My 12 year old had to explain it to me :D


I liked that!!!
That just about says it all
Chris.

PS I must admit I had to read it a few times
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VTRgirl
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Location: Sunny Queensland, Great Southern Land

Post by VTRgirl »

Okay, yellafella, so maybe that one is for the kids, but shouldn't be! I thought it was pretty funny & it'll be coming to work with me today :wink: My colleagues are suffering because of you lot! :)
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