I knew there was a good reason why I never had any Kids!!!!!!
For those with no children - this is totally hysterical...
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control...
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest)...
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh" it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25. Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
Kids
Would be a tad trickyPete.L wrote:Okay but if you blow your arms and legs off
don't come running to me
Plenty of areas in the garden here at "Iggy manor" to mess with stuff like that.
It is the peroxide that reacts with the other stuff Kaz.
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
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VTRgirl
- Posts: 2281
- Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 3:22 pm
- Location: Sunny Queensland, Great Southern Land
It would be the peroxide making the reaction... You've only got to try a dab of it on some infected sore somewhere to see what it's capable of. And if you haven't tried that, give it a go... preferably on somebody else... 
And Iggy, I'll soon be working as a prison nurse, so maybe I'll be able to pull a few strings & get you some more chemicals for you to further your research...
And Iggy, I'll soon be working as a prison nurse, so maybe I'll be able to pull a few strings & get you some more chemicals for you to further your research...
If you ate yourself would you become twice as big or simply disappear?
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VTRgirl
- Posts: 2281
- Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 3:22 pm
- Location: Sunny Queensland, Great Southern Land
Good one Kaz! I have a huge bag of the mouth-destroying suckers right in front of me!
Have you never done that with the peroxide? Just dip a cotton tip in the peroxide & dab it to a wound, like a cat scratch or something with some redness happening. It fizzes up & sometimes stings like a wasp. Other times, no pain at all... Either way, it's fun to watch if you do it to someone else. 
Have you never done that with the peroxide? Just dip a cotton tip in the peroxide & dab it to a wound, like a cat scratch or something with some redness happening. It fizzes up & sometimes stings like a wasp. Other times, no pain at all...
Either way, it's fun to watch if you do it to someone else. If you ate yourself would you become twice as big or simply disappear?
