Darwin awards 2005 (3)

[iggy1966]

15 February 2005, Rushinga, Zimbabwe
The elephants were trampling Christian's maize field, which he planted on an elephant trail of long standing. He had to find a way to fight back! Fortunately, there was an old minefield nearby, on the Zimabwe-Mozambique border. Christian figured a few landmines planted around his field would soon teach the elephants a lesson they would never forget.
Christian may have gotten the idea of using the mines from a couple of incidents that had recently transpired. A local resident had been injured after picking up a landmine while herding cattle the week before. A week before that, another Rushinga man had lost part of his leg after stepping on a landmine. The other villagers saw the writing on the wall, and avoided the landmines.
But Christian realized they were just what he needed! Clearly, these mines could cause great damage to an elephant! He dug up five that had been exposed by recent heavy rains, and began carrying them home.
These unstable mines detonated, killing Christian instantly.
Then total number of elephants injured? Zero.


(10 November 2004, Wales) Kebab-eating amateur rugby player Gareth, 22, was a bit wobbly after a pub crawl with his friends. His flat was filled with men and women when he pulled down his pants and waddled over to the window, shouting "Who wants summa this?" to the empty street below. A friend grabbed him before he could fall out the window.
In the morning when they awoke from their drunken stupor, Gareth admitted it was a pretty stupid thing to do. But that didn't stop the determined Darwin Award candidate from successfully trying again.
The very next night, with his blood-alcohol level at four times the legal limit, just short of lethal intoxication, he pulled down his pants again and waddled over to the open window, shouting "Who wants summa this?" Nobody was near enough to grab him this time. A girlfriend told the Aberystwyth coroner's court that he bent forward and went out the window, hands flailing. Gareth was found outside, impaled on a spike fence below.


(23 May 2005, Texas) A pickup truck was found abandoned in the surf off Crystal Beach. A tow truck driver was called in to remove it. He had barely moved the pickup a foot when he found the body of a 37-year-old man embedded beneath it in the sand. It turned out that the truck was not abandoned, after all.
The Galveston County Sheriff's department said there was no indication of foul play. The evidence indicated that the owner of the truck, a man named John, had been surf-fishing the night before and decided to take a nap in an unfortunate location.
He had arrived around 9 pm, about 90 minutes before low tide. Gentle waves lapped at the beach under the glow of the full moon. Fatigued, but unwilling to call it a night, John curled up for forty winks in the most natural place available: underneath his truck, which was parked on the beach. The tide was going out as he drifted off to sleep, pleased that he had found a way to shield his sleepy eyes from the bright moonlight.
But time passed and as the tide rolled back in, the sand began to shift beneath the truck's weight. John was trapped beneath it, unable to escape. The beach became his final resting place.