Welfare Office humor

Got any jokes? Add your favourite ones here, for all to share :)
Post Reply
User avatar
sirch345
Site Admin
Posts: 22382
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2003 10:35 pm
Location: The West Country.

Welfare Office humor

Post by sirch345 »

Welfare Office humor...



A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the

counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd
really rather have a job."



The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent.
We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter.

You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of
your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.

You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips.
You will have to satisfy her sexual urges.

You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The
starting salary is $200,000 a year."



The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!"



The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it." :lol:


Chris.
User avatar
Pete.L
Forum Health And Safety Officer
Posts: 7304
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 5:09 pm
Location: Bristol

Post by Pete.L »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Im sending you out on a job search the next time I fancy a change Chris :wink:

Pete.l
User avatar
sirch345
Site Admin
Posts: 22382
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2003 10:35 pm
Location: The West Country.

Post by sirch345 »

Pete.L wrote::lol: :lol: :lol:
Im sending you out on a job search the next time I fancy a change Chris :wink:

Pete.l
Ah thanks Pete, I'll take that as a compliment :wink: :lol: :lol:

Chris.
User avatar
tony.wilde1
Posts: 2230
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2003 9:32 pm
Location: sussex

Post by tony.wilde1 »

keep taking the tablets mate!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
sirch345
Site Admin
Posts: 22382
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2003 10:35 pm
Location: The West Country.

Post by sirch345 »

tony.wilde1 wrote:keep taking the tablets mate!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I'll be sending up a cheque for some more soon Tony :!: :lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
tony.wilde1
Posts: 2230
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2003 9:32 pm
Location: sussex

Post by tony.wilde1 »

ok pal....plenty in stock!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
sirch345
Site Admin
Posts: 22382
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2003 10:35 pm
Location: The West Country.

Post by sirch345 »

tony.wilde1 wrote:ok pal....plenty in stock!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Thanks Tony, they keep me normal :!:


GROODLE MENDLE FLAD :lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
Pete.L
Forum Health And Safety Officer
Posts: 7304
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 5:09 pm
Location: Bristol

Post by Pete.L »

8O OMG 8O
Do you two get a bulk discount by any chance?

:wink:
User avatar
simon t
Posts: 441
Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2003 9:43 pm
Location: Chauvac, South of France

Post by simon t »

Er, isn't that joke supposed to start "a SCOUSER walks into a Jobcentre" :?
User avatar
sirch345
Site Admin
Posts: 22382
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2003 10:35 pm
Location: The West Country.

Post by sirch345 »

simon t wrote:Er, isn't that joke supposed to start "a SCOUSER walks into a Jobcentre" :?
You know what they say Simon, if the hat fits :!: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
tony.wilde1
Posts: 2230
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2003 9:32 pm
Location: sussex

Post by tony.wilde1 »

sirch345 wrote:
simon t wrote:Er, isn't that joke supposed to start "a SCOUSER walks into a Jobcentre" :?
You know what they say Simon, if the hat fits :!: :lol: :lol:

or is that "cap"? :lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
sirch345
Site Admin
Posts: 22382
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2003 10:35 pm
Location: The West Country.

Post by sirch345 »

tony.wilde1 wrote:
sirch345 wrote:
simon t wrote:Er, isn't that joke supposed to start "a SCOUSER walks into a Jobcentre" :?
You know what they say Simon, if the hat fits :!: :lol: :lol:

or is that "cap"? :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Post Reply